There are so many wonderful parts of engagement…
It’s a journey all it’s own, and while I’d love to go more in-depth on that, in all honesty, I can’t. I’ve never been engaged so the insight I have is, for the most part, observational. Personal relationship status aside, I know countless couples who I’ve gotten to know while they were dating and are now married. Whether they were members of my family, dear friends, or clients, there are a number of things I’ve come to realize about engagement, weddings and wedding planning…
The first and most important being, that the beauty of weddings are in the details..
As a photographer, some of my favorite things to shoot are the detail shots, the bride’s jewelry, the groomsmen’s watches or cufflinks, the table settings… the flowers…
I will shamelessly admit, my detail obsession knows no bounds!
From a hopeless romantic standpoint, yo girl is pretty in love with the looks on the brides’ parents faces as they give her away. The pure pride and emotion.. it’s bearing witness to one of the purest loves I think exists on this earth.
Details are crazy gorgeous, but don’t stress over them. The most important part of a couple’s engagement is never the actual wedding planning.
Brides in particular, as you begin to make choices, don’t second-guess yourself. If you’re unsure, pause. You have time to decide, more time than you probably think you do. Sleeping on whatever choice you’re wrestling with, even for a night, often can give the reassurance that an in-the-moment decision won’t. Often, any choice that feels pressured, whether it be due to a vendor, perhaps your future-mother-in-law, or maybe, even yourself! If it doesn’t feel right to you, then it’s probably not. Yourself and your significant other are in charge of how you want this shin-dig to go down. Don't hand that power to anyone else without your consent.
I talked about this a little last week but in a much different context.. still applies though :) Don't lose sight of your why.
The engagement period is an exciting time but I’ve also seen it become a time of stress, as societal and familial expectations can pile up rapidly and without warning. Questions about the wedding and the future run rampant, and for all the planning and talking you and your fiancé may have done, there will always be an issue or question that remains undiscussed. Undoubtedly, that will be the question Aunt Carol asks of you in front of everyone at the shower.
Don’t believe me? Sure, you may not have an Aunt Carol, but as for undiscussed information, proof is evident in observing the interactions between newly-engaged couples and those who have been together for several years. Because eventually, the person who’s your person isn’t quite as unfamiliar. Ten years in, you know he’s going to fall asleep in front of the game and you know with certainty, that you absolutely can’t change the channel even if he’s drooling and snoring ‘till kingdom come. He hears Hallmark and like his pants are on fire you can bet your next bottle of Chardonnay, he’s going to be jumping up, shrieking, asking what the score is!
Becoming engaged literally changes everything. It’s choosing to mesh your life and habits with another. Someone who you love with your entire being and you can remain confident that they feel the same about you. It’s a security all it’s own… your still your own person but now yay, you have a permanent person now! Built-in plans on a friday-night. Someone to hold your hair after the bar on Saturday and still loves you enough to show up beside you to brunch, in all your hung-over glory, come Sunday!
There’s your why! Not the forgo-ing the next Candace Cameron Bure saga in favor of football, but cherishing the person who knows you better then you know yourself. The person that 10 years later you can look back at your engagement pictures and laugh over all the little things you didn’t know about each other when you were wedding planning, that you thought you did.
It’s the real stuff… It’s the raw stuff….
The reason I love weddings, the reason I chose to become a wedding photographer is solely due to the opportunity it provides to capture people who love each other, and are ready to commit to doing exactly that for the rest of their lives. It’s the end of the engagement era and beginning of day-in, day-out, life done together long-lasting era.
As a photographer, capturing your details is one of my favorite things. Your girl gang in their bridesmaids dresses, sipping mimosas, the sparkle of the brides' shoes? That’s my Christmas ! Details are fun and fabulous, but on your big day, it's your people that matter more. You and your person, matter most. All the rest, it's just stuff... celebrating the end of an era, and getting you across from the love of your life from now, for the rest of your life... the best part about the engagement period? From what I can tell, it's the ending.
featured above: Asha R., Danielle C., Simone M., Curtis C., Katie J., Teeja G., Jermanie C.,
What wedding-day details do you look for in the photos?!
Comment your favorites below!
Much love,
Mary
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